Identity, Kink

Owning Your Labels

I have a love/hate relationship with labels. They are nothing more than descriptors we use to classify things, people, and places. For the most part we choose how we self identify: straight, gay, bi, kinky, leather, Dominate, submissive, switch. Unfortunately, far too many people put emphasis on strict “true” definitions and not personal ones. These same people tend to become very critical if someone decides to change their labels forgetting that as people grow and change they way they identify may also grow and change. Labels can limit people into a box or make them run away. To acknowledge some labels can be painful and scary but removing them can be just as hard. Labels can express in broad strokes who we are, what we do, what we love, and the journey that we’re on past/present/future. Every label has a general definition but the finer details develop from the experiences, expectations, and desires of the individual. Each person will have their own twist on what being submissive or kinky means. When talking with others we can use these self identified labels to guide us in getting to know each other.

It is important to recognize that labels, along with their definitions, are yours to choose AND change. They don’t have to be restrictive or exclusive unless you allow them to be. Anyone who feels the need to question your labels is free to engage in discussion about what those words mean to you however they are not invited to be discouraging, disrespectful, or judging. Find the labels that fit YOU and own them. It is not easy at times but when all is said and done you are the only person who must live with them.

So who am I:
I’m a librarian, an educator, and a complete geek. I’m a reader, gamer, aerial student, cyclist, and dancer. I’m a loyal friend and lover. I’m fascinated with puzzles and the humans bodies abilities and limitations. I’m poly. I swing. I am pan-sexual. I hold family, both chosen and blood, very dear. I’m a submissive to a select few, a top to others and an absolute rope slut. I am both sadistic AND masochistic. I have a little side and can be a brat in limited amounts. Sometimes these things overlap, collide, or even pull me in opposite directions but they are who I am. They will flux and shift as I learn and grow and I hope that this never changes.

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