TEDtalk: Guy Winch: Why we all need to practice emotional first aid

As a followup to my pieces on Choosing Peace and Self Care I would like to share this amazing video from the great people over at TED. It’s from psychologist and author Guy Winch discussing the importance of “emotional hygiene.”

As practitioners of sex positive lifestyles remembering to take time for emotional self care is very important. Appropriate self care can help us recover more quickly from drop, whether it be from a scene, event, or con. In some cases, it can help us avoid the drop all together. Winch explains that traumas that are sustained psychologically far more commonly then we think. Though we have been taught to take care of our personal hygiene since a young age we rarely are given the skill sets to engage in emotional hygiene.

As relationships grow & change emotional self care can help us process through jealousy, envy, and anxiety. It can also help us heal from the feelings of rejection, loneliness, and failure that can occur with the loss. While the “suck it up” or “fake it till you make it” method may work in the short term it’s not a healthy way to cope with things long term. Neither is dwelling on these kinds of things. Finding healthy ways to heal through trauma and stress can dramatically improve your life as well as the way you connect with those around you.


By taking action when you’re lonely, by changing your responses to failure, by protecting your self-esteem, by battling negative thinking, you won’t just heal your psychological wounds, you will build emotional resilience, you will thrive.” – Guy Winch


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