Stood up

Whether you’re going solo or you’re going with another partner getting stood up kinda sucks. You’re excited to meet the new people, to see if you click, enjoy a night out. Then nothing. Tonight was a first for me: I got legitimately stood up. I had been chatting with a gentlemen who was interested in playing for the last few weeks and we seemed to get along well via email and text. I recommended grabbing dinner to get to know each other a bit before jumping into play. He seemed all about it even confirming just a few hours before. When the time came he not only didn’t show but he also didn’t text/call. So what’s a girl to do who is all dolled up sitting in a restaurant realizing that the other person just chickened out?

Here’s a few things to help make an unfortunate situation suck a little bit less.

Don’t Internalize It

Sometimes people think something sounds like a great idea but when it actually comes time they completely chicken out and are just too embarrassed to fess up. Remember that it probably doesn’t have anything to do with you. If they don’t have the decency to reach out and apologize they probably aren’t worth the energy or possibly a second chance.

Change the Expectation

The moment when the realization that the other party just isn’t showing up hits you sucks and leaves you with decision to make: do you stay or go. If you’re out with your partner this moment is softened a bit. You have someone there to enjoy the time with regardless if anyone else joins you. For those heading out single, like me, you’re left on your own. Tonight it was about 20 mins into waiting and an unreturned text later that I accepted he just wasn’t joining me. Instead of leaving, I decided fuck it and turned the evening into a solo date. If you’re really just not feeling like sticking around it’s absolutely ok to head out.

If You’re Solo Bring a Book

I was all dolled up and already at the restaurant so why not just enjoy a good meal! Since I’m a bibliophile I almost always have access to some sort of reading material either a physical book, my android, or my kindle. When I realized I was rolling solo for the night I just popped out my kindle and used the time as a nearly distraction free reading session. If reading is not your thing keep a pair of headphones in your bag/pocket and pop one earphone in while you eat. This way you can enjoy some music or podcast while you eat.  (I say one so that you can still be respectful of the waitstaff during the meal!)

Good food and a good read can make up for a no show.

At the end of the night it still sucks that the original plans fell through but being flexible and having a backup plan can make things suck just a little bit less.


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