Author: Aemok

20 Fun little’s Dates Ideas!


I’ve talked about identifying with a number of labels, sometimes conflicting labels, simultaneously before. One of these is combos is service submissive and little. On one hand, it makes my heart and soul leap for joy when I can take care of my D-type’s needs/wants through graceful anticipatory service that seems effortless. On the other, I enjoy being taken care of and letting my Big worry about making the mature decisions. I’m also a fairly mischevious little sadist which sometimes comes out even when I’m not in little space. (My Alpha regularly warns people about my deceptive “little’s face!”) One of the ways I’ve learned to feed the little side while still honoring the s-type side is through “little’s dates.” These dates are dedicated time when the walls of maturity come down and my protocols shift a bit which allows me to just BE little. Examples of these shifts are not being in trouble for not anticipating a need such as drinks needing to be refilled and there’s a bit more leeway when it comes to a bit of stubbornness on my part.

One of the ways I’ve learned to feed the little side while still honoring the s-type side is through “little’s dates.” These dates are dedicated time when the walls of maturity come down and my protocols shift a bit which allows me to just BE little. Examples of these shifts are not being in trouble for not anticipating a need such as drinks needing to be refilled and there’s a bit more leeway when it comes to a bit of stubbornness on my part.

Little dates make GREAT incentives when using chore/habit charts or trying to encourage specific behaviors! Find some special little date ideas for when they reach different goals. One of my favorites was a trip to Universal Studios when I collected a large number of stars from my chore chart.  They are also great for enhancing relationships between littles and D-types/partners who don’t identify as Big. Taking care of a little is a ton of work for anyone but if you aren’t Big inclined it can be really taxing. You can use little dates to create distinct time boundaries when “being little” is doable and when you need your partner in adult mode.

Here’s twenty suggestions for super fun little dates for all parties involved!


A little bit of history


Over the weekend I learned something that made me stop in my tracks: my good friend, a 19yr old college graduate, had never heard of the AIDS Quilt!!! How had she NOT heard of it!? Growing up in the late ’80’s and ’90’s, I remember regularly hearing about the quilt in school. The variety of panels and the people they were dedicated to made a lasting impression on me. But now I don’t remember the last time I heard mention of the quilt and somewhere in the last twenty years, it stopped being talked about in schools. 2017 marks the 30th anniversary of the quilt and I want to take this moment to share a bit of its history.

To see it now is to be struck by history; to see it then was to be riven by grief and terror”

– Andrew Sullivan, 2013*

Photo: National Institutes of Health

In 1985, Cleve Jones, a San Fransico activist and one of the organizers of the memorial honoring the memories of supervisor Harvey Milk and mayor George Moscone, asked marchers to write the names of loved ones they had lost on placards. At the end of the march these placards, over 1,000 in total, were taped to the walls of the San Fransico Federal Building. The visual effect was that of a patchwork quilt. Jones was inspired and two years later, in June 1987, the NAMES Project Foundation and the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt were born.

The quilt made its first appearance during the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights on October 11, 1987. Covering a section of the National Mall larger than a football field the original quilt contained 1,920 panels. It then debarked on a 20 city tour across the US. By the end of the tour, which was only four months long, the quilt had grown to more than 6,000 panels.

Each of the 3′ x 6′ panels shares the life and love of the individual/s that they are dedicated too. Some are simple panels covered in signatures or a spray painted name. Others are complex designs which incorporate pictures and clothing. Most are made by loved ones but there are those made by groups like schools or churchs. A few are made by the individual before their passing. Some even use a bit of humor.


By 1992 the quilt included panels from every state as well as 28 countries and NAMES Project Foundation was invited to march in the President Bill Clinton’s inaugural parade. A year later the quilt was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Now 30 years since it’s original debut, the AIDS Memorial quilt remains the world’s largest community art project with more than 48,000 panels representing 35 countries and continues to grow. Displays of the quilt have raised more than $3 million for North American AIDS service organizations.


To learn more about the NAMES Project Foundation and the AIDS Quilt please visit


Additional Resources:
NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt –
National Mall History –
*On What Sets the AIDS Quilt Apart From All Other Memorials –



Con Drop Sucks!


Con Drop is that melancholy feeling you get after an amazing weekend and may include fatigue, feeling lonely, being unfocused, or sad. Sometimes it’s fleeting and easy to get through but it can also stick around for a few days.

Here’s some ways to help you kick Con Drop to the curb!


Paper Kinks!


Confession: I have a paperwork kink!

No, I don’t mean I like filling out forms in triplicate! Last fall I fell in love with the idea of Butler’s Books. I was hesitant because most of my stuff was kept digitally up to that point and I had never successfully used a planner for more than a few weeks. After spending a few months trying to research and plan I jumped in this past January and haven’t looked back since! My book helps keep my world organized and allows me to be a better submissive. Here’s a quick intro to what they are, how I use mine, and how to start your own.

The What

You’re probably wondering what the hell a Butler’s Book is and google is pretty much useless. Basically, a Butler’s Book is a way or organizing and tracking everything required to make a house run smoothly from schedules and shopping lists to information on the family and friends. They are sometimes called service notebooks and I like to call mine my girl book since I don’t identify as a butler.

For me, my book is one part bullet journal, one part house management guide, and one part journal/braindump.

The Why

When I want to relax I’m just as likely to be playing video games as reading books, I don’t know what I’d do without Google calendar, and text messages are lifesavers because I’m not a huge fan of talking to people on the phone. So if I’m such a digital girl why on earth would an analog book be of interest? Simple: My book allows me to organize my life, visually keeps track of my goals and projects, and is my reference for my leather family and path. It hasn’t replaced my digital stuff by any stretch but it has become a way for me to focus on the most important stuff along the way. It’s also a tool for self-care. If I’m feeling overwhelmed or anxious, I can pull my book out and see exactly what HAS to get done and what can be moved to the later. In addition, I have space to doodle, work on new ideas, or brain dumb.  I’ve worked it into my daily routine, for about 10 mins before bed each night when my brain is prone to spring into overdrive, and it’s helped me feel calmer and less cluttered mentally.

The How

The great thing about Butler’s Books is that they are what you make of it. They can be a quick reference guide or detailed encyclopedia. You could include only information related to your BDSM/Leather/Lifestyle journey or expand it to other areas of your life. The trick is to make it work for you!

When I started researching I found myself really frustrated right out of the gate. Outside of a local friend, Kitten Christie, who turned me on to them, there isn’t a ton of information easily available. In fact, I only found one really good resource! Joshua Tenpenny’s Service Notebook. Mixing suggestions from Kitten Christie, Tenpenny, and Bullet Journaling I’ve found a method to the madness that works really well for you which I’ll outline below. Take what is useful and don’t be afraid to toss what isn’t!

Getting Started

What you’ll need:
  • Binder & Paper –  You can use any journal, notebook, or binder you want. The key is that it needs to be big enough to be functional and small enough that you’ll want to actually use it!
    • I use a 1″ Mini Binder because I like to have the flexibility of moving/removing pages that I royally screwed up, found didn’t work for me, or don’t need any more like plans from 4 months ago! It also fits half of an 8.5×11 piece of paper perfectly and isn’t too big to throw in my daily bag!
  • Pen or Pencil – You’ll want at least one writing tool that you feel really comfortable with, is fade resistant, and writes clearly.
    • I have a few pens, markers, and pencils I use in my book. My daily use pen is currently a Pilot Metropolitan fountain pen because I’m fancy 😉
  • Dividers – You may need two you may need ten. Just depends on how you break up your book.
    • I didn’t find any dividers I liked when I initially started so I made my own using 8.5×11 black cardstock, metallic sharpies, and washi tape.

  • Other suggestions but by no means required:
    • Paper clips – work great to mark pages without taking up space
    • Index card – makes for a handy tool to draw straight lines
    • Hole Punch – find one that fits your binder
    • Markers, stickers, washi tape, etc – It’s your book. Let your creativity flow if that’s your thing!
The Breakdown:

I break my book into four main sections:

  1. Intro – includes my index, key, yearly calendars (bday, future log, holidays), and my book ideas page
  2. Plan – like the name indicates this section is comprised of my planners
  3. Grow – space to keep track of personal goals and projects
  4. Family/Leather – includes pages for keeping track of individual’s preferences, master allergy list (because I love cooking for friends & family but don’t want to kill anyone!), protocols, family traditions, and my leather’s history cards.


  • Index – Exactly what you think it is!
  • Key – I like to color code and use a few symbols to make it easier to identify where items wall in my life.
  • Yearly Calendars – I keep one with a list of birthdays and significant holidays
  • Future log – Broken into months it allows me to write out any major events happening so I don’t accidently overextend or double book myself
Index and Key
Future Log













When I first started this section I started with printables I found on Pinterest by searching for Journal/Planner pins. It was an easy way to get started with some structure for someone who didn’t really do planners.  After about six weeks I was started identifying what worked and what didn’t for me. So I swapped from planners to grid paper and started designing my own layouts. One method isn’t better than another and there is certainly LOTS of inspiration for either method.

For me, I found using monthly and weekly layouts do the job for me. However, some people prefer monthly and daily layouts. Again, it’s whatever works for YOU!

Monthly and weekly spread with space for doodles!



This section is by far the most eclectic! It’s a little bit of everything and anything related to helping me grow. I have trackers for different goals, gameplans for various projects, and pages of quotes and affirmations I find particularly awesome. If you follow me on Instagram you’ve definitely seen this section pop up in my images! I find that writing things down helps me keep on track with things much better. I can break projects down into more manageable pieces



This section is for all the things specifically focused on my dynamics, relationships, family and lifestyle.

  • People – I have two formats for this family/close people & regular acquaintances. Family members are a full two pages and others get an index card kept in a sleeve with a condensed version of details.
  • Protocols and Traditions- I have pages for general notes, low/medium/high protocols, and traditions for my family
  • Leathers – A record of what leathers I have earned, been presented, or been gifted.  and the history of them. I have these on index cards as well.
Family pages and cars for others


So these are the basics of my Butler’s Book/girl’s book cover to cover. I hope that this gives you some ideas to get started with your own books. If you want to share your ideas feel free to leave a comment or send an email to


Fantasy Fetish Fest 2017


Looking for something fun to do this weekend? Join me at the 3rd annual Fantasy Fetish Fest for workshops, socials, and more. It’s free to attend*!  There’s a little something for everyone whether it’s hanging with the pups poolside, enjoying a cigar with friends, or hitting the Bootblack stands.  I’ll be getting my rope on during opening ceremonies and again on Saturday afternoon for a self-suspension demo!

*small fee for evening social space