Category: Kink

I Got a Kink Crate and I’m BEYOND Shocked in the Best Way Possible!


Last weekend I went to visit fellow kink educator and awesome rope partner-in-crime TheStuntDouble to unbox my newly arrived “Couples” Kink Crate. Honestly, we were totally prepared for some giggles and 50 Shades-style feather tickers and velcro cuffs. Instead, we were shocked by what is actually a pretty damn well-curated box of not just toys but QUALITY educational materials! Check out the unboxing video at the bottom and some of my thoughts on my first Kink Crate.*

The Box

I put my name in the hat a few months ago to review the Kink Crates and when I opened up the box I was beyond excited to see that it was a rope themed box! I mean anyone who knows me knows I’m a giant rope slut. It’s like it was meant to be.

Right on top of the box was the Kink Crate Handbook and Kink Diary. The handbook is filled with really fucking useful information for anyone just testing out the waters of bondage including safety info (such as nerve damage risks and first aid), negotiations, and some great starter ties. The Diary is a cute little addition to keep track of what works and doesn’t and any fun ideas you want to try later!

Jay Wiseman’s Basic Rope Bondage was the next item I wiped out which is perfect step by step starter book and it’s convenient “toy bag” size means you can carry it anywhere for some rope reading on the go!

There are also some other smaller items like the Twizzlers (BEST PERVERTABLE CANDY!) and stickers.

The Rope

This kink crate came with three bundles of rope: hemp, cotton, and leather! I’ll describe them in order of preference starting with my least favorite.

#3 Hemp – This rope smelt and felt more like jute to me. In fact, I actually incorrectly corrected myself once I had my hands on it while taping the unboxing. I’m a fan of rougher natural fiber but this 8mm rope was even a bit rough to the touch for me and has an extremely loose lay.

#2 Cotton – The braided cotton is what I think of when I remember my first bundles of sex shop bondage ropes!. That’s not a bad thing by any stretch. In a sexy shade of red, this rope is really soft and fairly flexible. With just a bit of bite to the fibers, your knots won’t go sliding every which way.

#1 Leather – Of the three this is my favorite by far! I’ve never played with leather rope before and the blending of two of my tops kinks definitely makes me more than a bit wet. Upon first inspection, the rope is similar to paracord in thickness and design with its solid core and exterior stitched leather sheath. I loved the way this felt against my skin! It was super smooth but the seam of the leather digs in just a bit.

Spot Fucking On

Between the scientifically accurate, sex+ information from reliable writers/educators to the variety of rope provided the Kink Crate for couples was spot fucking on! I dig the fact there was variety in the box so people new to rope bondage can get an idea of what they like or don’t.

I also loved the fact that there was diversity in their representation too! The Kink Squad card has a variety women (both top and bottoms) and the icon for next months Nips and Whips theme is a female POC top. On top of the visual, they have boxes for singles and couples with options for male/female, female/female, AND male/male couples. 

I definitely recommend checking it out whether you’re new to kink or just want to try something new. Want to save 33% on your first Kink Crate? Check out!


Full Unboxing!


*Kink Crate sent this box to me for review. The affiliate link to their site gives you, my wonderful readers, a 33% discount on your first box and I can earn more boxes to test out!


Paper Kinks!


Confession: I have a paperwork kink!

No, I don’t mean I like filling out forms in triplicate! Last fall I fell in love with the idea of Butler’s Books. I was hesitant because most of my stuff was kept digitally up to that point and I had never successfully used a planner for more than a few weeks. After spending a few months trying to research and plan I jumped in this past January and haven’t looked back since! My book helps keep my world organized and allows me to be a better submissive. Here’s a quick intro to what they are, how I use mine, and how to start your own.

The What

You’re probably wondering what the hell a Butler’s Book is and google is pretty much useless. Basically, a Butler’s Book is a way or organizing and tracking everything required to make a house run smoothly from schedules and shopping lists to information on the family and friends. They are sometimes called service notebooks and I like to call mine my girl book since I don’t identify as a butler.

For me, my book is one part bullet journal, one part house management guide, and one part journal/braindump.

The Why

When I want to relax I’m just as likely to be playing video games as reading books, I don’t know what I’d do without Google calendar, and text messages are lifesavers because I’m not a huge fan of talking to people on the phone. So if I’m such a digital girl why on earth would an analog book be of interest? Simple: My book allows me to organize my life, visually keeps track of my goals and projects, and is my reference for my leather family and path. It hasn’t replaced my digital stuff by any stretch but it has become a way for me to focus on the most important stuff along the way. It’s also a tool for self-care. If I’m feeling overwhelmed or anxious, I can pull my book out and see exactly what HAS to get done and what can be moved to the later. In addition, I have space to doodle, work on new ideas, or brain dumb.  I’ve worked it into my daily routine, for about 10 mins before bed each night when my brain is prone to spring into overdrive, and it’s helped me feel calmer and less cluttered mentally.

The How

The great thing about Butler’s Books is that they are what you make of it. They can be a quick reference guide or detailed encyclopedia. You could include only information related to your BDSM/Leather/Lifestyle journey or expand it to other areas of your life. The trick is to make it work for you!

When I started researching I found myself really frustrated right out of the gate. Outside of a local friend, Kitten Christie, who turned me on to them, there isn’t a ton of information easily available. In fact, I only found one really good resource! Joshua Tenpenny’s Service Notebook. Mixing suggestions from Kitten Christie, Tenpenny, and Bullet Journaling I’ve found a method to the madness that works really well for you which I’ll outline below. Take what is useful and don’t be afraid to toss what isn’t!

Getting Started

What you’ll need:
  • Binder & Paper –  You can use any journal, notebook, or binder you want. The key is that it needs to be big enough to be functional and small enough that you’ll want to actually use it!
    • I use a 1″ Mini Binder because I like to have the flexibility of moving/removing pages that I royally screwed up, found didn’t work for me, or don’t need any more like plans from 4 months ago! It also fits half of an 8.5×11 piece of paper perfectly and isn’t too big to throw in my daily bag!
  • Pen or Pencil – You’ll want at least one writing tool that you feel really comfortable with, is fade resistant, and writes clearly.
    • I have a few pens, markers, and pencils I use in my book. My daily use pen is currently a Pilot Metropolitan fountain pen because I’m fancy 😉
  • Dividers – You may need two you may need ten. Just depends on how you break up your book.
    • I didn’t find any dividers I liked when I initially started so I made my own using 8.5×11 black cardstock, metallic sharpies, and washi tape.

  • Other suggestions but by no means required:
    • Paper clips – work great to mark pages without taking up space
    • Index card – makes for a handy tool to draw straight lines
    • Hole Punch – find one that fits your binder
    • Markers, stickers, washi tape, etc – It’s your book. Let your creativity flow if that’s your thing!
The Breakdown:

I break my book into four main sections:

  1. Intro – includes my index, key, yearly calendars (bday, future log, holidays), and my book ideas page
  2. Plan – like the name indicates this section is comprised of my planners
  3. Grow – space to keep track of personal goals and projects
  4. Family/Leather – includes pages for keeping track of individual’s preferences, master allergy list (because I love cooking for friends & family but don’t want to kill anyone!), protocols, family traditions, and my leather’s history cards.


  • Index – Exactly what you think it is!
  • Key – I like to color code and use a few symbols to make it easier to identify where items wall in my life.
  • Yearly Calendars – I keep one with a list of birthdays and significant holidays
  • Future log – Broken into months it allows me to write out any major events happening so I don’t accidently overextend or double book myself
Index and Key
Future Log













When I first started this section I started with printables I found on Pinterest by searching for Journal/Planner pins. It was an easy way to get started with some structure for someone who didn’t really do planners.  After about six weeks I was started identifying what worked and what didn’t for me. So I swapped from planners to grid paper and started designing my own layouts. One method isn’t better than another and there is certainly LOTS of inspiration for either method.

For me, I found using monthly and weekly layouts do the job for me. However, some people prefer monthly and daily layouts. Again, it’s whatever works for YOU!

Monthly and weekly spread with space for doodles!



This section is by far the most eclectic! It’s a little bit of everything and anything related to helping me grow. I have trackers for different goals, gameplans for various projects, and pages of quotes and affirmations I find particularly awesome. If you follow me on Instagram you’ve definitely seen this section pop up in my images! I find that writing things down helps me keep on track with things much better. I can break projects down into more manageable pieces



This section is for all the things specifically focused on my dynamics, relationships, family and lifestyle.

  • People – I have two formats for this family/close people & regular acquaintances. Family members are a full two pages and others get an index card kept in a sleeve with a condensed version of details.
  • Protocols and Traditions- I have pages for general notes, low/medium/high protocols, and traditions for my family
  • Leathers – A record of what leathers I have earned, been presented, or been gifted.  and the history of them. I have these on index cards as well.
Family pages and cars for others


So these are the basics of my Butler’s Book/girl’s book cover to cover. I hope that this gives you some ideas to get started with your own books. If you want to share your ideas feel free to leave a comment or send an email to


American Savage, Pissing off People One Essay At A Time


American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics

I’ve been a fan of Dan Savage after stumbling on his Savage Love podcast a few years ago. I found his outspoken, passionate, often against the grain approach refreshing and inspiring. When his 2013 book American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics popped into my audible recommendations I went ahead and grabbed a copy. It seemed a timely read given current events, particularly the recent US election, and I was interested in seeing if his longer works held up compared to the shorter ones I had previously read. I also tend to like audiobooks that are read by the authors as we get to hear it as the author intended. What I found was a collection of writings that were spot on, sometimes emotional, and consistently engaging. Savage doesn’t shy away from points that piss some people off! Something that isn’t difficult when you tackle topics like when cheating may actually be a decent option, Obamacare, and Rick Santorum. To soften the edges and balance the book out a bit, Savage also talks about his personal life in an open, honest way. From the struggles of raising a child to the process of grieving for a parent that has passed we’re reminded that this opinionated passionate advocate is also just a human being.

For someone who spends a lot of time with the ears of their audience, I had high expectations for the American Savage audiobook and was happy to hear the passionate, snarky, unapologetic delivery I had hoped for. In a text that is sometimes joyous and other times tear inducing, Savage shares his personal history and reflections on current events which allow just about any reader to find something of interest between these covers.

Pro: great listen/read, relevant,

Con: can be abrasive for some

Overall: In the end, I was not disappointed by the text or the delivery of American Savage and highly recommend this work to both long time fans of Savage as well as readers who have an interest in modern families, LGBTQ+ culture, and equality.


  • American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics
  • Dan Savage
  • Dutton Adult
  • May 2013
  • ISBN-13: 978-0525954101



Fetcon 2016 in Review


Fetish Con (aka Fetcon) is an interesting beast in the world of kinky cons. Unlike a lot of events I go to, this one is primarily focused on the people who make kink their living. Models and producers making connections and shooting, parties by the pool, classes on kink business and intros to modeling and photography, and of course the awards ceremony. I’ve been attending this con on and off for the last 11 years in various roles including attendee, booth babe, presenter, and staff*. It’s given me an interesting view of an event that attracts such a diverse crowd. Those 11 years have been hit or miss. I’ve had some good experiences there but I’ve also had some that had me rethinking whether it was an event I’d ever attend/recommend again. I’m happy to say that this year changed a lot of those conflicting feelings.


When I first started attending the con was kind of balanced with a place for the newbies, the pros, and the lifestylers. As the years went on I felt a shift that left those of us who do this because it’s what we love in the dust. It wasn’t an unreasonable shift since the con is focused on the industry side of things but it was really disappointing to get dolled up, grab my gear and a girl to tie up then walk into a dungeon and find that the play space was basically useless. This year this entire situation made a complete 360! With the introduction of a dungeon provided and run by Florida Power Exchange guests of fetcon had a safe, beautiful, and energized space to indulge our fantasies. During the day there were a number of classes and demos to expand the horizons of those interested. At night Daddy Michael had the perfect mix of music and lighting to get us in the mood for some great play. It was the dungeon I always wished was at this otherwise fun event.

Other improvements that I noticed over past years was the variety of vendors. I go to a lot of cons and see a lot of same venders at each. This year Fetcon had a GREAT mix of regulars and new blood. My one complaint here was that Bad Dragon didn’t bring any product to sell!!! They did however give out some amazing swag (review coming this week!) and they were more than willing to answer any of your questions and let you play with their toys.  DJ Kitty Pow Pow was phenomenal out at the pool and kept us all enjoying ourself well into the night. Security* was also on point this year which meant people felt significantly more relaxed to be themselves within the Con spaces.

Lastly the hotel staff was AMAZING! I chatted with a number of them over the course of the weekends from bellhops to housekeeping to coordinators and everyone was fantastic. A good con can be soured from shit hotel staff but the smiling, truly helpful individuals I interacted with kept my weekend relaxed and enjoyable. 

Overall I can say this year was so much more than I expected and I’m so happy I decided to attend. Thank you to Genesis and her entire staff for putting the lifestyle back into this kinky event. I can’t wait for next year!

*I was part of the security team this year. I have to send props to the amazing leaders who coordinated the team and made sure things were actually secure no bullshit experience this year.