Tag: Video

TEDtalk: Guy Winch: Why we all need to practice emotional first aid

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As a followup to my pieces on Choosing Peace and Self Care I would like to share this amazing video from the great people over at TED. It’s from psychologist and author Guy Winch discussing the importance of “emotional hygiene.”

As practitioners of sex positive lifestyles remembering to take time for emotional self care is very important. Appropriate self care can help us recover more quickly from drop, whether it be from a scene, event, or con. In some cases, it can help us avoid the drop all together. Winch explains that traumas that are sustained psychologically far more commonly then we think. Though we have been taught to take care of our personal hygiene since a young age we rarely are given the skill sets to engage in emotional hygiene.

As relationships grow & change emotional self care can help us process through jealousy, envy, and anxiety. It can also help us heal from the feelings of rejection, loneliness, and failure that can occur with the loss. While the “suck it up” or “fake it till you make it” method may work in the short term it’s not a healthy way to cope with things long term. Neither is dwelling on these kinds of things. Finding healthy ways to heal through trauma and stress can dramatically improve your life as well as the way you connect with those around you.

 

By taking action when you’re lonely, by changing your responses to failure, by protecting your self-esteem, by battling negative thinking, you won’t just heal your psychological wounds, you will build emotional resilience, you will thrive.” – Guy Winch

 

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Choosing Peace

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Lately life has been throwing me one curve ball after another: relationships, work, home, circus, rope. As soon as I think I’ve gotten back to a balanced place another ball comes my way. Sometimes I feel like it’s just too much to deal with. In the past, I was the cut and run type but I have been actively trying to not do that as often. I stumbled across one of Kino‘s “Living the Yogi’s Life” videos today that really made me stop and think about the choices I’m making in these difficult moments. She reminded me that I can make choices to find peace within these moments. I highly recommend her videos for anyone looking for inspiration. She also does some amazing yoga videos for everything from beginning to advanced.

Check out more of Kino’s work on her Youtube channel

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The Real 50 Shades of Grey E! Documentary

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Thanks to falling down a random internet rabbit hole I came across The Real 50 Shades of Grey an E! documentary from 2013. I was hesitant at first since a lot of the mainstream 50 Shades coverage is pretty terrible but figured what why not.

To my pleasant surprise this was a really well executed representation of the life I and many others enjoy every day. While I was expecting some sensationalized practitioners I was happy to see the couples were “normal.” While there was at least one pro Domme there were also engineers and nurses. Though they were all heterosexual they did include female dominance, mono and poly households, and those who live 24/7 vs those who keep it just to the bed room. The couples appeared natural as they discussed how they came into the lifestyle and how it has become part of their life. To support this they had a variety of credible experts including Midori and Tristan Taormino. The issues of consent and abuse were also addressed well. Overall The Real 50 Shades of Grey did a great job at not sensationalize or demonizing BSDM but rather gave viewers a real, educationally supported, representation of what it means to be part of the in the lifestyle.

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