Want to get out of the kinky kiddie pool?

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So you’ve watched episodes of CSI, read 50 Shades, and enjoyed spicing up your sex life but now you think you want more. Where do you start? The Internet! The internet is for porn after all! There is all kinds of information out there and sifting through it can be overwhelming. Here’s a quick list of some starting points for getting out of the kinky kiddie pool and connected with the local community.

Fetlife – Think Facebook for the kinky & kink curious minus Google’s ability to find you. This site allows you to create a profile and connect with others far and wide through a VAST array of groups. You can keep your profile as anonymous you’d like while testing the waters of the kink community. Lots of events are posted too, like the ones listed below, letting you get out and meet other like minded individuals.

Meetup – Event based site offering TONS of groups that focus on various interests including those on the kinkier/alternative side.

Munches & Coffee Time – Generally held at coffee shops and restaurants, these events are “vanilla” friendly socials. This means you generally won’t see kinky clothing, nudity, or people walking around on leashes. They are a good opportunity to meet others in your area face to face and chat about kink and non kink topics in a casual and friendly environment.

Topic Specific Meetings – Already found a particular fetish/kink you’re interested in? There are groups for just about anything and many of them meet regularly. Depending on where these meetings are held they can be very similar to munches except that the discussion is more focused. There may be a presenter or it may be a group lead discussion. If held in a public space, such as Denny’s, then expect similar clothing and behavior to a munch or coffee time. If held in a private location such as a dungeon or private home there may be more lifestyle behaviors such as a submissive who sits on the floor by their dominant.

Public Play Parties – Depending on your area you may have none, one, or a few options when it comes to public places to play. These are great for people watching and getting a taste of what kink in real life looks like. Expect various forms of fetish fashion and nudity which varies based on local laws. You’ll also see A LOT more alternative lifestyle behavior and clothing choices.

Dungeons/Private Play Parties – Private locations tend to vary the most in what is and isn’t allowed during an event. You may attend parties where penetrative sex allowed. Another may limit bodily fluid play (blood, cum, urine) to a particular area. If you’re going and you want to get an idea of what to expect contact one of the organizers. They are normally happy to answer any questions you may have. Private parties can be tricky to find and once you find them they can be hard to get into. The process of vetting individuals prior to attendance is common with private events. Simply put the host of the party wants to make sure you’re legit. You aren’t known for disrespect, abuse, a stalker, ect. They do this to help ensure safe play spaces for all to enjoy. Unless you know someone already who can vouch for you hitting some public events is a great way to get known.

These are a just a few of the many options for getting your feet wet in the big kids pool of kink. No matter where you go, online or in real life, remember to use common sense, don’t be afraid to ask questions, and have fun!

Do you have kinky questions you’d like to see answered or explored? Send your questions to questions@runningaemok.com.

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